Here to ♥ u endlessly

♥ Monday, February 23, 2009

Been few days never heard from him... not sure where is my position now..never been on9 for few days...the moment i on9 i c whether he is on9. saw him put away, not long he turn offline. dun need to ignore me. im not a monster. im not so desperate. the action he made, hurts me. i wont find him. i dunno he will anot. i will just live my life alone now.. its unmeaningful to love someone who want hide from u. and its difficult & hurt.

Been doing alot things these days... not fully recover yet but still can get the sad feeling away for a moment.

Thurs- pasar malam at chow yang ss2 with simon, vivi, rach, alvin.. eat alot 66. next @ MOS.. party like no tmr... vr fun.. saw somebody i knew for long..approached by alot unknown ppl 1 by 1 endlessly when i was busy dancing.. weird and hate it..till my babes bcome jealous liao :( got into vip upstairs with taylor frens, and him mr edison chen alike. Jump to cb to meet Des. seat infront cb chit chat and ciao. off to yumcha session @ sri murni ss2. tired hell. Definate continue for next thurs.

Fri- Been invited to fashion show at Club9 heritage row and the production manager, Mr Zul who is running Diva production and the one who run the fashion show. he intended to sign me under him. i'm not interested at all, keep pushing him to ask my babes, but he insist want my contact and have me picture for future work. he asked me to be interview on tv but i refused him bout fashion and designer on that night cuz i dunno any bout it , im not the designer fan also. he invited me to the vip seat next to the runaway stage and i think i cought in cam during the runaway starts. the show will be preview @ the april time on tv2 soon. Thx babe for the long island tea..although wait u quite long..arg..hate u leavin me alone drinking there like loner :(( while so many gays aside... sienz..but i do still enjoy it. after tat v yumcha at mcd ss2.

Sat- Breakfast with bububutbut at foodstall 14. Back to Heritage row, tis time me and my bububutbut at loft upstairs with des and frens, got to know christine, ana, and so on i forgot the names.. they all r so cool.. although juz meet.. but v dance like nobody biznes. the place is not tat nice compare to mos but u all make the place happen. we girls even get on the side lil stage dance and the guys down stage. next they want go 2nd session..so hardcore..somehow.. i think they misunderstand something. til somepart i get lil sensitive bout.. someone know it.. i hope b understand.

Sun- breakfast with bububutbut at mcd even sick == bububutbut wan kill me :(( after tat fetch princess simon who lazy walk to sch :/ tsk.. 1st time attend sun class.. sch was close when v reach. all stand at the entrance and the handsome lawyer lecture drive in with his c class merz..so yeng look like obama..went to ss2 do facial. rach called me and said someone has pass something to me. after fin facial find rach and carol at mcd ss2, saw from far she carrying a big thing. and she said someone pass to me as present. i feel weird. and worried.. what is the motif or intention giving me tis surprise? i dun hope is tat thing. i offer the present to rach n carol, they dun wan accept it. next i have to carry tis thing to yoga class waiting u babes. wtfuck. i realize i'm in big trouble and make me fall sick..till now.

to someones that come in my life tis time. i dun think is gud time. my heart still have somebody tat i dun even kno is still belong to me. eventhough i'm aware tat the relation im having might not be exist anymore.

i hope u take back the thing u pass to rach to pass to me. i dun feel tis is gud present, cuz i feel its burden to me. it not make me happy. but i feel what u did is trying to connect u. i'm not happy receiving tat. i have enough responsibility now. u cant imagine the stress i have.. especially im sick now.. so if u read tis, take it bec.. i told u i only interested in girls only..and dun force me or else v r not fren nemore.

to someone..dun put effort on me. i nid time off to settle down my ownself 1st. i give myself a priority to live a good life that i worth. i'm happy i'm been appreciate and admire. somehow, things just cannot work, and was not mean to be like tis. i still luv him who i dunno wher he is now. where is my prince?

at Monday, February 23, 2009

♥ Wednesday, February 18, 2009

stupiest things i have done.. most regret is i find smtg to complain bout..

my valentine is wonderful.. i love it.. i'm so happy n felt te happiness u give me.. but the next day i took it away :(( i make things worst.. im so stressful recently.. i cant control my emotion well. saying things tat din concern u. at beginning i tot i wanna fix our prob , i miss u tehh n sweet talks over me.. everytime i open ur blog i saw wat u wrote to me b4 is so sweet. miss tat.

now i realise wat i did now is wrong.. i know love dun stay the same all the time... love style will change and i cant demand so much... i learned tis now.. i realized alot... i shudnt complain.. shudnt order... shudnt force.... cuz at the end its no meaning..

i hope our relation will get better and not loving without souls. i asked u r u happy with me cuz i dun wan force u over smtg u not willing be with. no matter how much i love u. if ur heart gone.. i only love an empty soul. i wish u still have the love for me.. i dunno wat can i do n how far i can go without u... i feel myself today so fan jing... no dignity.. not gin chi as a girl..i took alot shameful 1st move over u.. hug u, kiss u, hold ur hand.. my heart sore when u wan to pull away.. but the time u hold my hand i kno i cant let go.. no matter wat i will fight for my love.

i know we shudnt meet often when ther's problem starting grow. u told me u nid few days of rest... r u really mean it? if its ur decision , maybe it's good for us to cool down n heat up the love again. i kno u tired loving me for me owiz emotionally explode.. i kno i wrong, i feel sry. can i repair tis? i wan to happy with u.. i wan u smile like talking with ur frens. i wan u feel breath easy, uncontroll. my fault.. i will control tis.. i wont demand u.. tis few days maybe i shudnt kacau u. give u rest. but doesnt mean i giv up. i hope u dun too.. when u feel the love n miss feeling to me is back,u can always find me..

i never stop love u..

hope v can get over tis challenge n move on be stronger relation.

all my life i will be with u forever.. i will owiz here support u even im not by ur side always. love link to us.. im attach to u.. wil only stop when u wanna cut tis string.

at Wednesday, February 18, 2009

♥ Tuesday, February 10, 2009

I dunno y tis feeling is here.. i feel sad.. holding ur hand or huggin u de warm n feel really unexplainable when v together but when v not meeting i only can feel u through writing / calls. i dunno is my messy feeling or i juz overly sensitive take tis matter too serious.. dearly i wanna hear u said smtg u wont said to ur frens but me, u get lesser muaks over me, saying words tat seem so repeatin b4 i luv u, i miss u tat kind. but tis magical speech tat makes me happy starting get lesser. n i afraid it will gone soon. r u afraid tis word will bcome unmeaningful one day or u dy bored with tis speech.izit hard now n not bfore for u?how do u differentiate the way talkin to a lover & frens? y i feel myself drifting farer.. my heart really pain. tis feeling really suck. i cry for whole day wishing someone comfort me but end up mum yelling outside door over something small.. i feel so emo..every emotion has a reason. and my reason is. i juz hunger for ur speech of luv. a speech tat come within heart. if tis magical speech fail its power wining a smile, wat's the meaning for the effort? i hope my love on u has a return. is u luv me too.

sometimes i wonder wat u think over me? am i really weak in ur heart? i nid hug everytime cuz i enjoy huggin u. i can end tis stickiness over u if u dun like. if u feel uncomfortable.

jane jane. shud i tell my feeling out tat might be wrong to him or just keep silent cuz tis mayb i juz think much.. i hope i can pass all this thru with him.. end my feeling over ntg.

if dear did saw tis. pls dont mad over wat i said if i wrong. girl have stupid feeling most of time. i hope u understand n comfort me to gimme realise my position in ur heart. mayb not all the time have to say tis la say tat yuk ma de.. mayb v dy hav mature luv.. sien over tis kinda word. but for some special occasion, some day, some time, manja me once a while as bonus can ma? i really siew hei over small things. but i easy to please. lil things can make me so happy. cuz ur effort i can sense love. like u told me u queue for the bag u buy for me @ london in freezin cold time. i really fly high happy n touched! tat feeling is unexplainable. something feels like u wanna cry, u wanna hug him , feel bad over myself cudnt warm u up tat time.. it's a mixture of all feelings in together tat make tis feel so wonderful .. cuz its ur love to me. ^^ dear.. i'm not complaining or demanding, i juz wanna honest wat i feel.. i dun wan diam n keep the feeling of worriness..but at the mean time i oso feel scared.. i scared i tell u how i feel u will fed up treating me better like forever im not satisfy..i do satisfy my now.. the moment us together. i even wish time stop here.. i wish u feel the same.. i really wish how u feel for me as much i do feel for u.

dear .. i dun wan feel im a stranger for u.. cuz it really sad.. mayb shorten msg is gud for busy time..but leave some little time to me kay?

Met you by surprise, I didn't realize that my life would change forever.
Saw you standing there, I didn't know I cared. There was something special in the air.
Dreams are my reality. The only real kind of real fantasy.
Illusions are a common thing. I try to live in dreams. It seems as if it's meant to be.
Dreams are my reality, a different kind of reality.
I dream of loving in the night and loving seems alright although it's only fantasy.
If you do exist, honey don't resist. Show me a new way of loving.
Tell me that it's true, show me what to do I feel something special about you
Dreams are my reality. A wonderous world where I like to be.
Illusions are a common thing. I try to live in dreams although it's only fantasy.
Dreams are my reality. I like to dream of you close to me.
I dream of loving in the night and loving you seems right perhaps that's my reality

at Tuesday, February 10, 2009